I couldn't even think of an appropriate title to this post.
Saturday was a rough day for us. I was very emotional. The day didn't go as planned, and it wasn't the celebration of Riley's life that I had envisioned. But that was ok.
What bothered me the most is that no one remembered. My best friend did and you guys of course, but not one other person. I posted something on F.acebook about it being Riley's birthday and only one person commented. She is a fellow DBM and knew the importance of the day. Not one other person said a word. My friends there are all friends IRL and family. They know. They have nothing to feel uncomfortable about because they aren't strangers or casual acquaintances. Maybe they did though. I don't know. I'm done trying to figure people out.
But it hurt. A lot. 3 years is a long time without my boys. I have a hard time understanding why we visit the cemetery each year at Christmas instead of a preschool production. I don't appreciate that I make a grave blanket trying to out do the year before. I don't like picking things out to put in it. I hate that I cry when it snows.
If those same people only knew what it would have meant to me for them so send a simple message. I left the door open. They just chose to keep it closed.
I'm sorry no one was there for you, but that doesn't always mean they don't care. It's hard to understand why the people who should be there just aren't. But don't think it's because they don't love you or your boys. Sometimes they just don't know what to say, so they say nothing at all. I've learned this the hard way.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I have always said it is left up to us to remember our babies and treasure their memories, because sadly, people forget. Thinking of you and sending you virtual hugs!
ReplyDeleteI`m so sorry, my arms ache right now because I wish I could give you a hug. People just don`t understand, and I hate that they can`t see how badly it hurts when they say nothing..
ReplyDeleteSadly, people have no idea how important remembering is. I wish it weren't so. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I truly believe that other people just don't like to think about how much we hurt, whether it's one month or 3 years later. And I think it's easier for them to believe that you are "over" it. It's not right by any means, but it seems sort of universal from what I can tell. I am sorry you didn't get more support.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry, Becky. Sending you (((hugs))) and a (belated) Happy Birthday in Heaven wish for that sweet little boy. Happy Birthday, Riley. <3
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry no one made the gesture. I know the feeling all too well unfortunately. Riley's birthday is special and significant because his life has made a real impact - something many people can't do no matter how many years they live.
ReplyDeleteHappy (be-lated)Birthday Riley!
I'm so sorry, Becky. I was out of town from the 22nd of December to very late on the 4th of January. I was scarcely online during that time. I do think of Riley every year around xmas.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, almost nobody says anything to me either unless I say something on facebook. And even then it is just a few people. It's unfortunate, but I think it's a common thing to not say anything about a person who's died, regardless of if it was a baby or an adult who was lost.
::big hugs:: You are such a wonderful mother, and all of your kids are so lucky to have you.