I heard through the grapevine about a class that is run for parents of children with developmental delays. It's supposed to be great, I hear. I'm very excited about it. I talked to the coordinator on Tuesday and she explained the whole program. Monday and Tuesday morning Lily and I will be headed for a Mommy and Me type class with other kids like her. Monday is a music/story/dancing/parachute thing and Tuesday is a music/tunnel and trampoline/arts and crafts/dacing/parachute thing. She said that Monday is a little more mellow but Tuesdays class will deffinately help more with her fine motor skills and her speech. The thought is that these kids see what the other kids are doing and it catches them up a bit faster. After these classes they 'graduate' to a pre-pre school class that gets them prepared to go to school at 3. We had been back and forth and back and forth about sending her to school at 2. At the start of the school year she will be just 2 and with her prematurity and delays we didn't want to set her up to fail at such a young age. We're planning on holding her back before Kindergarten anyway so she'll go in as a young 6.
While I'm very excited to go, I'm also very nervous. I'm worried that people will ask questions. I'm not like other mom's. I worry. Excessively. I'm paranoid. I'm afraid that she will get hurt or won't fit in or will get bullied or be a bully. I'm afraid that I won't fit in with the other mom's. What if they ask how many kids I have? What if I tell them and then I'm that weird lady who hovers over her daughter with two dead sons? What if I say to much? What if I don't say enough and they think they were just balls of 'fetal tissue?' I don't ever know how to handle social situations like this anymore. I'm afraid that I've become socially inept and even the thought of going somewhere without Derick makes me want to crawl into a ball. I'm not assertive enough. I'm quiet. I stick to myself. Except I want to meet new mom's. I want Lily to fit in. I want to fit in.
This is so weird. I think I'm going to hardly sleep tomorrow night if I'm already nervous about it tonight.
In my experience, you muddle your way through. Great answer, huh? It took me a long time before I felt comfortable talking about my son to other people - and I'm still not always comfortable with it. When in doubt, I don't mention him. Which I hate, but I also feel like I'm protecting him, and myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can tell you this: Lily is going to have a hard time just because she is a child. Girls are more emotional/sensitive/dramatic (ok, not all girls, but some, like mine). She is going to have friendship issues, issues with teachers, issues with you. It's hell to watch your child go through, but it's going to happen. Kids will find something to tease her about...it's what kids do. And every kid is fair game, no matter what their ability. My daughter is 9 and it's getting harder now, girls are getting catty and mean, and I hate it.
Not to totally scare you, but to warn you, it's going to happen, no matter what you do or don't do. But remember, this class is full of kids like her....you're not the only mom feeling nervous. My advice: feel it out, say hi to the other moms, ask about their kids. If you want, tell them you lost 2 little boys and leave it at that. And you and Lily will both be ok.