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I went to a new doctor today. A new family doctor I should say. He was great. He really took the time to speak to me. I have a lot going on. Most of it's not new, but I have been afraid to go prior to this. It all came to light when I was trying desperately to have a living baby and that's all I could focus on.

The doctor went over everything today. He's sending me for a boat load of tests and bloodwork. He thinks I have something called Cu.shing's Sy.ndrome. It's the first time someone has suggested something other than PCOS. Interesting. When I asked him about that he said he'd rather wait for my appointment with my Gyn to discuss that.

The best part of his exam was that I lost 13 pounds since the last time I weighed myself. Yay! He asked what I was doing differently and I told him that Lily was more active therefor I was more active, that we moved and I had more housework to do to keep me active, that I started going to the gym everyday, and also that I had the stomach flu. He laughed and said, "The stomach flu doesn't hurt!" So yes, last week I joined the gym with a close friend. We enjoy going together and we chat like we used to...not about dead babies or snotty noses. She doesn't have kids and is still single. So we laugh about the machine that makes us feel like we had rough sex (not sure what it's called but it makes your legs feel wobbly after your done!) and then we talk about her weekend with her boyfriend and the rough sex that she did have and my lack thereof! Haha! It passes the time and we both feel good on our way home.

I've been trying to eat better. I don't want crap in Lily's body so I don't bring it into the house. I look at what I'm buying, what ingredients are in it and what it does for my body before I buy it. If I can't read the ingredients I don't buy it. Plain and simple is what we're after.

I also spoke to him about the possibility of getting a lap band or what his thoughts were. He said that it's becoming more and more difficult to get insurance companies to pay for it because of people using it as a vanity thing. He said to keep doing what I'm doing for 6 months and then we will re-evaluate things. He also wants me to take Alli for weightloss. He said it works well but people stop using it because of the side effects and that if I stick with it, it's proven to be a successful tool.

So that's that. I am going for my bloodwork tomorrow and I'll try the Alli too despite the side effects. I'll keep going to the gym and see where it gets me. I don't want Lily to have the fat mom at school. The one that can't keep up with her kids in the playground and the one that the other kids make fun of. I will not let Lily be that girl with the fat mom.